Bad Bad Andre

The Ghost Who Came To Say He Was Sorry

2007-03-16T15:49:00.000+08:00

The Ghost Who Came To Say He Was Sorry
by Chuck Palahniuk
Originally published in The London Independent © 2002
Republished in The Week, Dec 6, 2002

When novelist Chuck Palahniuk invited friends to a haunted-house party, he was more prepared to snicker than hide behind the sofa. But his murdered father had other ideas.

A friend of mine lives in a "haunted" house. It's a nice, white farmhouse in the country, surrounded with gardens, and every few weeks he'll call in the middle of the night to say, "Someone is screaming in the basement. I'm going down with my gun, and if I don't call you back in five minutes, send the police!"

It's all very dramatic, but it's the kind of complaint that smells like a boast. It's the psychic equivalent of saying, "My diamond ring is so very heavy." Or, "I wish I could wear this thong bikini without everyone lusting after me."

My friend refers to his ghost as "the Lady," and he complains about not getting any sleep because the Lady was up all night, rattling pictures on the walls and resetting the clocks and thumping around the living room. This is a practical man who's never believed in ghosts. I'll call him Patrick. Until he moved out to this farm, Patrick was like me: stable, practical, reasonable.

Now I think he's full of it.

To prove this, I asked him to let me house-sit his farm while he was away on vacation. I needed the isolation and quiet to write, I told him. I promised to water the plants, and he went off and left me there for two weeks. Then I threw a little party.

This man, he's not my only deluded friend. Another friend -- I'll call her Brenda -- says she can see the future. Over dinner, she'll ruin your best story by suddenly drawing a huge gasp, covering her mouth with her hand, and rearing back in her chair with a look of wide-eyed terror on her face. When you ask what's wrong, she'll say, "Oh. . . nothing, really." Then close her eyes and try to shake the terrible vision from her mind.

When you persist, she'll take your hand in hers and beg you, "Please, please. Just stay away from automobiles for the next six years."

For the next six years!

Brenda and Patrick, they're odd but they're my friends, always hungry for attention. "My ghost is too loud. . ." "I hate being able to see the future. . ."

For my little house party, I planned to invite Brenda and her psychic friends out to the haunted farmhouse. I planned to invite another group of stupid, ordinary friends who aren't troubled with any special extrasensory gifts. We'd drink red wine and watch the mediums flit around, lapsing into trances, channeling spirits, doing their automatic writing, levitating tables, while we laughed politely behind our hands.

So a dozen people arrived at the farmhouse. And Brenda brought two women I'd never met, Bonnie and Molly, both of them already swooning from the ghost energy they felt there. Okay, all my friends were swaying a little. But for the sane ones, it was the red wine. We all sat around the dining-room table, a couple of lighted candles in the center, and the psychics went to work.

First, they turned to my friend Ina. Ina's German and sensible. Her idea of expressing emotion is to light another cigarette. These mediums, Bonnie and Molly, they'd never met Ina before, but they took turns telling her how a woman's spirit was beside her. The woman was named Margaret and was showering Ina with tiny blue flowers. Forget-me-nots, they said. And suddenly, Ina put down her cigarette and started crying.

Ina's mother had died of cancer several years earlier. Her mother's name was Margaret, and every year Ina sprinkled forget-me-not seeds on her grave because they'd been her mother's favorite flower. Ina and I have been friends for 20 years, and these are details even I didn't know. Ina never talks about her dead mother, and now she's weeping and asking for more red wine.

Having reduced my friend to a mess, Bonnie and Molly turned to me.

They said a man was near me, standing just over my shoulder. He was, they both agreed, my murdered father.

Oh, please. My father. Here, let's just take a little break from the nonsense.

Anyone could know the details of my father's death. The strange, ironic circle. When he was 3 years old, his own father had shot his mother, then stalked my father around the house, trying to shoot him. My dad's first memories are of hiding under a bed, hearing his father call, and seeing his heavy boots walk past, the smoking barrel of the rifle hanging near the floor. While he hid, his father eventually shot himself. Then, my dad spent his life running from the scene. My siblings also say he spent his life trying to find his mother by marrying woman after woman. Always divorcing and remarrying. He'd been divorced from my mother for 20 years when he saw a personal ad in the newspaper. He started dating the author of the ad, not knowing she had a violent ex-husband. Coming home from their third date, the ex-husband shot them both in the woman's house. That was in April 1999.

Really, these details have been published everywhere. The whole mess has gone to trial, and the murderer is sentenced to death. Bonnie and Molly needed no gifts to know any of this.

But still they persisted. They said my father was very sorry for something he'd done to me when I was 4 years old. He knew it was cruel, but it was the only way he could think to teach me a lesson. Bonnie and Molly, they held hands and said they saw me as a small boy, kneeling beside a chopping block. My father was standing over me, holding something wooden.

"It's a stick," they said, then said, "No it's not. It's an ax. ."

The rest of my friends were quiet; Ina's weeping had effectively silenced their giggling.

Bonnie and Molly said, "You're 4 years old, and you're deciding something very important. It's something that will shape the rest of your life. . ."

They described my father sharpening his ax and said, "You're about to be. . ." they paused, "dismembered?"

I pour another glass of wine and drink it. I pour another. I tell Bonnie and Molly, our guides to the ghost world, please tell me more. I smirk and say, "No, really, this is fascinating."

Then they say, "Your father is very happy now. He's happier now than he ever was in his life on earth."

Oh, isn't this always the case. A little scrap of comfort for the bereaved. Bonnie and Molly are just the same sort who have preyed on grieving people throughout history. At best, they're misguided, deluded fools. At worst, manipulative monsters.

What I don't tell them is, when I was 4 years old I slipped a metal washer around my finger. It was too tight to remove, and I waited until my finger was swollen and purple before I asked my father for help. We'd always been told not to put rubber bands or anything tight around our fingers or we'd get gangrene and those bits would rot and fall off. My dad said we'd have to cut the finger off, and spent the afternoon washing my hand and sharpening the ax. The whole time, he also lectured me about taking responsibility for my own actions. He said that if I was going to do stupid things, I should be ready to pay the price.

That whole afternoon, I listened. There was no drama, no tears or panic. In my 4-year-old mind, my father was doing me a favor. It would hurt, chopping off my fat, purple finger, but it would be better than the weeks of letting it rot.

I knelt beside the chopping block, where I'd seen so many chickens meet a similar fate, and put out my hand. If anything, I was wildly grateful for my father's help, and resolved never to blame other people for stupid things I'd done.

My father swung the ax, and of course he missed. We went inside, and he used soap and water to remove the washer.

It's a story I'd almost forgotten. Almost forgotten, because I'd never told it to anyone. Because I knew other people wouldn't understand the lesson. All they'd see was my father's actions, and then label it cruelty. For 36 years it has been my secret. And my father's. And now these silly women, Bonnie and Molly, are telling it to me and all my drunken friends.

No way was I going to give them any satisfaction. While Ina sobbed, I drank more wine. I smiled and shrugged, saying it was all very interesting prattle. A few minutes later, one of the women fell to the floor, ill, and asked for help getting to her car. The party broke up, and Ina and I stayed behind to finish the wine.

It was disappointing, really, that stupid party. Watching my friends take this nonsense seriously. I can't explain Bonnie and Molly's little magic trick, but there's so much in the world I can't explain.

The night my father was killed, hundreds of miles away, my mother had a dream. She said my father knocked at her door, begging her to hide him. In her dream, he'd been shot in the side -- a year later, the coroner would confirm this -- and he was trying to escape from a man with a gun. Instead of hiding him, my mother shut the door in his face.

That same night, one of my sisters dreamed she was walking through the desert where we grew up. She was walking beside our father, telling him she was sorry they'd grown apart and not spoken recently.

That night he died, I didn't have any dream. No one came to me in my sleep to say goodbye.

Oh, I'd love to believe in an invisible world. It would undermine all the suffering and pressure of the physical world. But it would also negate the value of the money I have in the bank, my decent house, and all my hard work. All our problems and all our blessings could be readily dismissed because they'd be no more real than plot events in a book or movie. An invisible, eternal world would render this world an illusion.

Really, the spirit world is like pedophilia or necrophilia: I have no experience with it so I am completely unable to take it seriously. It will always seem like a joke.

There are no ghosts.

But if there are, my dad should damn well tell me himself.

Technorati Tags: chuck+palahniuk, fight+club, invisible+monsters, diary, survivor, lullaby, choke, haunted, rant, fugitives+refugees, stranger+than+fiction

Online FLV Converter

2007-03-14T18:56:00.000+08:00

If you're like me and you just like to fill up your hard drive with random shit from the world wide web, then for sure you have lots of flash videos grabbed from Youtube and all other sites like it. I never liked to store flash videos though, which is basically the format of most video sites. I don't know why but I just never liked it. So fuck you if you're gonna force me to want it. Anyway, so I always end up just converting them into .avi, .mp4 or .3gp if I want it on my mobile phone, using some software or whatever.

Then I found out about vixy.net.

Here's an excerpt from it:

"This service allows you convert a Flash Video / FLV file (YouTube's videos,etc) to MPEG4 (AVI/MOV/MP4/MP3/3GP) file online. It is using a compressed domain transcoder technology (outline in Japanese). It converts FLV to MPEG4 faster and less lossy than a typical transcoder.

When you submit an url, it will download and convert to the video format. Then you can download the converted file."

Neat, eh? No more grabbing from Youtube then converting it manually. Just paste the URL and then downloading the converted file. Awesomeness.

Technorati Tags: vixy, flv, converter, youtube, video, avi, mp4, 3gp

Don't be dumb. Get insured.

2007-03-13T19:06:00.000+08:00

"Insurance? Dude, what a waste of money!"

That's how my friend Ed responded when I told him time and time again to get one for his motorcycle. Seeing as how the cost of his modifications almost equal the cost of my entire house. He doesn't need it, he says. The bike's got all kinds of alarms, anti-theft devices, chains, locks, you name it. The whole shebang. Alright, suit yourself I said.

Then, two days ago;

"Riiiiiinng, riiiiiiinng, riiiiiiiing."

Me: Hello?
Ed: Dude it's me.
Me: Oh hey man, what's up?
Ed: My fucking bike got stolen. I just left it for a second to get some beer and when I came back out it was gone.

Don't be an idiot; insure your ride. If you can afford to spend an insane amount of money on ridiculous mods and customizations, surely you can afford to spend a few measly bucks for some peace of mind. It doesn't even have to be for your ride only. Get one for yourself too. You'll never know. One minute your riding or driving and enjoying the sites, the next minute your brains are scattered all over the fucking road because you got hit by a truck. And your family is left with problems on where to scrape up money for your burial or for their everyday needs. It might be brutal, but it's the truth. Thousands of accidents happen everyday.

Insurance. It's a wonderful thing, mmmkay?

Technorati Tags: insurance, motorcycles, bikes, accident, life policy

Fuck Megaupload

2007-03-12T18:25:00.000+08:00

No more bitching while waiting for free download slots, Proxy Switcher Standard is here. Bypass Megaupload limits. The timer will still be there, but now you can download files simultaneously. And you won't have to configure your proxy settings manually. This shit searches for working proxies automatically and is damn easy to use. Tutorials are even included! Neat-o. That's why I won't write the instructions for it anymore. Well that and I'm really lazy right now. I haven't much luck using it with Rapidshare though. Tell me if it works with it.

Technorati Tags: megaupload, bypass, proxy, switcher

One Missed Call freaky ring tone. You want it? You got it.

2007-01-22T19:59:00.000+08:00

From imdb:

"People mysteriously start receiving voice mail messages from their future selves, in the form of the sound of them reacting to their own violent deaths, along with the exact date and time of their future death, listed on the message log. The plot thickens as the surviving characters pursue the answers to this mystery which could save their lives."

That's basically the plot of the three One Missed Call (Chakushin ari) movies. If you receive a call on your mobile and you hear yourself making weird sounds on the other end, your dead fucking meat. Start eating your last meal and screwing your last ass, because there is no escaping it. (Well... Sort of... What the hell, just watch the movie) And the melody on the video above is the same one that the characters in the movies hear when the "curse" falls upon them. Yes, no matter what your previous ring tone was, when you are about to kick the bucket, your cell will sound that tone.

For the longest time, fans of the trilogy have been looking for a high quality version of this creepy-as-fuck ring tone from the said flick. Most of the versions on the web are either on midi (which everyone knows, sucks so much ass) or just plain off that it doesn't sound anything like the original melody. Well because of my awesomeness, I decided to just make my own and give it out for free. It's in wav format. So you just have to send it to your symbian mobile phone and use it as is. If your cell is a Nokia, that is. I'm not sure about the other brands. Otherwise you just have to convert it or whatever.

You can download the tone HERE.

After that it's just a matter of sending the extracted file to your phone. Which you can do via bluetooth or via using a card reader.

Enjoy, minions.

Technorati Tags: one+missed+call, chakushin+ari, ringtone, mobile, creepy

How to make a decent amount of money on myLot

2007-01-17T18:26:00.000+08:00

This is kind of a repost of a topic I wrote at myLot about my system on earning more money in a shorter span of time. And a follow up to my previous post. I thought I'd post it here for easier access. Since a lot of people from myLot were asking about it. Plus I'd like to add a few more tips.

Here is the original post:

"Alright, I've studied most of the posts about the "mylot system." And I've noticed that none of them included the one thing that, in my opinion, can really help you a lot. Alright, here it is:

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE INTERESTS.

There, I said it. If you're gonna start a new discussion, make sure that it's under your interests. For example, I wanna start a topic about fighting. Since I like the movie "Fight Club" and I listed it in my interests, then I'll post it there.

Also, posts pictures along with your interests. The pictures that are in your profile don't count. Those will not earn you money. Only the ones in interests and discussions will. For example, again, I listed in my interest the movie "Fight Club." What I did was that I clicked on it and uploaded about 5 photos. There.

You might ask, "SO? WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE INTERESTS?"

Well, if you haven't already known, most websites earn by letting companies advertise on their sites. More notably, GOOGLE ADSENSE. And how this works is there are certain words that appeal to certain advertisements. For example, let's again use the movie "Fight Club," when you see a topic relating to that, you will automatically see advertisements pertaining to it like fight movies, fighting apparel, fighting gloves, fighting schools, etc. Are you getting me now? The system is automated. There is no way that mylot can track each and every one of us. So the way they make money is by letting us start discussions to get more advertising. More interests means more words, more words mean more advertisements. And they do this through OUR INTERESTS.

Look at my profile, there are a whole lot of interests there. And as much as possible, I upload pictures in each and every one of them. And start discussions under them. If the topic you want to start doesn't relate to any of your interests, then add it first to your interests. Then post under it.

I have a second tip. Don't just keep on adding friends. Make a deal with them first. Tell them that if they start a new discussion, you'll be active on it and posts lots of comments. But they have to do it for you too. That will ensure that your topic will have lots of responses. And in turn, earn you more money. Also, POSTING COMMENTS ON YOUR OWN TOPIC WILL NOT earn YOU ANYTHING. What it does though, is keep your discussion active. For others to see."

What I'd like to add is something regarding the posting photos. Many myLot members think that photos doesn't add much to your earnings. Well, they're kinda right. If you post pictures with just a short or no description at all, then you really won't earn much from them. What you should do when posting a photo is WRITE A REALLY LONG DESCRIPTION to go with it. And if you post multiple photos under a certain interest, you can just copy and paste the description you wrote for all those photos.

Now, you might ask,

"how in the world can I write a really long description?"

Good question. Research about that photo. For example, I posted a photo of a certain beach. Then I'll just find facts and figures about that beach. And a story about it. A really long story. As I've mentioned on my original system, myLot makes money from automated advertisements. The more words, the better they make money. And in turn make money for us. You can make up a story if you want. I'm pretty sure it doesn't violate myLot rules.

There you go. I hope you'd find that useful.

Technorati Tags: mylot, system, earn fast, get paid online, post

Holy Shit, Mylot Actually Pays!

2007-01-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

"$$$ - Earn Money Using myLot - $$$

We want people like you to help our website explode, and to reward you we will pay you every time you use myLot!

Our goal is to provide internet users a place to earn money using the web on a day to day basis. It's easy, sign up and start discussions, post responses or comments to current discussions, or refer friends! A myLot account is all you need to get started. You will be able to view your earnings on a daily basis when you sign in."

That's what it says here. Just post, and you get paid. Bullshit, right? That's what I thought. Then I got paid today.

Yes I got paid. Exactly $16.75. I know that's not much money, but that's because I was a lazy poster (and my point is they actually pay you). I only got about 160 posts. My only purpose for joining was to find out if they actually paid, or if they're just fucking me in the ass. But lo and behold, I was proven wrong.

Today I received that amount through E-gold. I haven't spent it yet though because I have nothing to spend $16 on. Maybe I'll just keep it there for a while. Anyway, after that, you can choose to spend it online since there are countless online stores that accept e-gold as payment or you can have it converted to whatever fucking currency you want. Since myLot accepts members from almost all countries. I'm from the Philippines, so I can use Pinoy Gold Exchange(PGX) to "convert" my E-gold to Philippine Peso (PHP). After basically selling my e-gold to PGX, they will send my money to my bank account in 24 hours. If you're too stupid to understand how your Mylot earnings will get to your hand even if I already explained it, here is a diagram:

myLot --> E-gold --> PGX --> Your Bank Account --> Your hand

I forgot to explain what myLot actually is. Have you used Yahoo Answers before? Basically, it's like that. The difference is you get paid. Just post anything, start any topic, post pictures, anything. Just make sure that you follow the rules and the guidelines. They're not hard to follow. Simply put, DO NOT SPAM. That's it. Enjoy posting and you get paid. You will not spend anything on it except time. A whole lot of time, if you want to earn big. Some guy there earned $167 in about a month. Imagine that.

Here is a screen capture of my E-gold account showing the payment I received from myLot. The account name and number has been covered for security purposes, obviously. Just click on it to see the larger image.

I know you want to, so register here.

Technorati Tags: mylot, paid, earn, e-gold, paid to post

Crank: Retardedly Awesome

2007-01-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

I know this movie's already slightly old since it came out on 2006. But I just watched it last night, so fuck you. And hooooooly shit, Jason Statham could possibly be the baddest motherfucker on the face of the Earth. Sorry Samuel L. Jackson, Mr. "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane," you're done now. OK, so this flick is about Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), a professional hitman who after completing a job got whacked in the head and while knocked out, injected with some Chinese shit by his Latino rival, Verona. I think it was called "Beijing Cocktail" or something like that. I don't really remember now since I was so engaged in the awesomeness that Jason was churning out in this movie. Anyway, when he woke up there was this DVD that the Latino dudes left for him to watch. It was labeled "FUCK YOU." (Cool, eh?) In it he learned that the shit that was injected in to him is gonna kill him in an hour. So what will a guy that only has an hour to live do? Cry like a little bitch and pray? Fuck no. He smashes his fucking TV. Well that and take revenge on those assholes who practically already killed him. And, uhmm... say goodbye to his girlfriend, Eve (Amy Smart). Yeah, kinda girly I know.

And then he calls a bunch of people. His doctor, the Latinos, his girlfriend, *blah blah blah,* then he finds out that to slow his death down, he needs to produce adrenaline. So basically Chev Chelios needs to go ape shit. That or die. You know what, fuck this. I don't write reviews. So I'm just gonna list some of the most badass reasons why you should watch Crank. Apart from the obvious one that Jason Statham is gonna bust your door down and fuck your ass up wide open if you don't.

He snorts cocaine off of a dirty bathroom floor.
He "kicks some black ass" for no reason at all. (OK, OK, there's a reason. To raise his adrenaline. But come on, that's a given in this movie. That's what it's about. If he stops, he dies. So I'm gonna count that as "no reason." I f you don't want me to, then fuck you, again.)
Police chase. In a car. While in the mall. And the car ends up in the fucking escalator.
He beats the shit out of a convenience store attendant and robs the place clean of energy pills and drinks. I'm sure he has a whole lot of money, since he kills people for a living. But he's just that awesome so he just steals. Because as we all know, stealing is next to awesomeness.
He chops Verona's brother's hand off with a meat cleaver. Then shoots him with a Desert Eagle .50. Using his severed hand.
He runs around the city in just a hospital gown, nothing else. And to all the faggots reading this, yes, his ass is exposed a whole bunch of times.
He makes fun of a motorcycle cop. Then steals his bike.
Amy smart is wearing little pink panties.
Chev burns his own hand with a waffle iron, so he can fucking stay awake.
Jason fucks Amy from behind in the middle of China Town. With all the people watching. While yelling, "I'm alive! I'm alive!"
A faggot is killed by Latino gangsters by putting a bag over his head. (Now that's good.)
Chev grabs the hand of a fatty gangster and shoves it into a sewing machine.
Eve sucks Chev's cock. Car chase, Chev on the wheel. Gun fight, Chev blasts all the motherfuckers away. ALL AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

Now if that's not enough to make you want to watch this totally insane movie, then go fuck yourself. Movie critics hate this movie. But you have to remember that movie critics are about as intelligent as a fucking rock. And they don't have girlfriends because they're faggots. Or just simply losers. You don't want to be called a loser do you? Then watch Crank!

"Watch my movies or I'll eat your kids."

Oh and if you want to have the same ringtone as Chev Chelios has, you can go to Dylan Greene's site and look for it there or just get it directly here.

Technorati Tags: crank, chev chelios, eve, jason statham, amy smart, funny, movie, action, retarded

I am a proud Frat Boy

2006-12-15T14:00:00.000+08:00

Let me give you an idea of what it's like to be an APO. What you are about to read is a pure, no-bullshit and unadulterated account of being part of the biggest Greek-letter fraternity in the world.

When I was in high school, I detested fraternities. I was being recruited left and right since almost all of my buddies are members. But I saw no point in joining one. What the fuck is the point of getting repeatedly paddled on the thighs just for the right to proudly declare that you are now a "hooligan," as I lovingly called frat boys then. Madness. Pure insanity. The pain doesn't end there though. The life of a fraternity member as most people see it is riddled with violence. Which is often the by-product of a rift against a rival organization. People die because of senseless shit like these. But before you start calling me a self-righteous asshole, let me tell you something first. I could actually be a poster boy for the stereotypical frat kid. Delinquent, never liked school, always drunk, hates authority figures, gets in a fight once in a while, you name it. I actually got kicked out of my school for failing so many subjects. No, I am not a moron. Going to school is just not in my to-do list. Anyway, back to the frat talk, I just never really liked the idea of belonging to a fraternity.

Fast forward to 2 years ago. I was in my 2ND year of attending a college campus that I never really liked. A college campus where I had no real friends in. A college campus whose students and professors I can't really relate to. Simply put, I was an alien in this place. I mentioned earlier that I've never really liked school. No reason why, I just don't like it. This time is different though. This time there was a reason. My current school sucked ass. That's it. And I was getting more and more bored as each day passed. Which made me not want to go to school again. That's when I said to myself, "fuck this, I'm gonna find something productive to make life here bearable." I'm gonna stay here for at least two years, so I better make it worth my while. So I started looking for clubs to join and extracurricular activities to spend my time on. Still, nothing caught my fancy. Now, time for me to stick my foot in to my mouth.

I decided to join a fraternity.

Yes, I gave in just because of sheer boredom. I just wanted to experience something new. That's my only reason. Most members, when asked why they joined a fraternity, would just say "curiosity." Well not me. I already knew whatever there is to know about the organizations I was choosing from. I researched about all the fraternities available in my campus. All their advantages and disadvantages, their programs, their objectives, their accomplishments, everything. And one group constantly rose above the rest.

Alpha Phi Omega.

Established in the United States of America on December 16, 1925 by Frank Reed Horton. Organized in the Philippines on March 2, 1950 by Librado I. Ureta. Its purpose? Service to others. Specifically to the school, youth and community and service to the nation. Not bad eh? But APO in the Philippines had a notorious reputation. It was known to be the hardest fraternity to get in to. There were rumors of extreme hazing and very long periods of pledgeship. Add to that the fact that you will become a pledge and be initiated twice. With the second time to occur a few months after you first passed as a new member.

So what encouraged me to go on? Honestly, the challenge. And the knowledge and feeling in my heart that even as a man who doesn't have riches, I'm still able to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it. I am not shitting you. It really does feel good to help. I'm guessing this is the part where you say, "well I don't need a fraternity to help and provide service to others. I can do those myself!" Well yes, you have a point. But doing it alone or with your friends can only go so far. And no fraternity can provide service in a scale as large as what Alpha Phi Omega can. We exist because of service. Without service, there is no Alpha Phi Omega. Alpha Phi Omega is service.

APO is not just an organization, APO is a family. No ifs, no buts. No discrimination. This might sound too cliche but that's the truth. It is here where you will hear a 20 year old call a 70 year old "brother." It is here where the sight of a top company executive drinking beer with a carpenter is not uncommon. Alpha Phi Omega is made up of the richest of the rich and the poorest of the poor. Yet we don't care. From equality, comes friendship. Alpha Phi omega is friendship.

APO is not just an organization, APO is also a place for leaders and followers. Here, you will learn lessons that will last you a lifetime. Such lessons will greatly help you succeed in whatever goal you decide to pursue. In Alpha Phi Omega, you will learn the value of humility. For without humility, one cannot be a good follower. Being a good follower is essential before becoming a good leader. Alpha Phi Omega molds leaders. Alpha Phi Omega teaches leadership. Alpha Phi Omega is leadership.

Eighty-one years of caring and sharing. We have gone really far and achieved so much. Never in my life did I think that I would experience this kind of fulfillment from joining a fraternity. I am living proof that stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. In every organization there are bad apples, but that does not mean that the whole organization is rotten. I am thankful that I made the long journey in to the world of APO. So today, Alpha Phi Omega, I would like to greet you a very very happy birthday.

Technorati Tags: alpha phi omega, fraternity, leadership, friendship, service, organization, brotherhood

Light Grenades: Listen

2006-12-07T16:32:00.000+08:00

Here you go, Incubus' Light Grenades for everyone to take a listen. Just press play.

Technorati Tags: incubus, light grenades, new album, mp3, listen

Light Grenades: Aptly Titled

2006-12-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

If you have been a long-time follower of Incubus, then you probably know already that every album is different than the last. Apparently, this does not hold true for Light Grenades. It's like these guys have decided to solidify their place in the alternative rock world. If your favorite album is S.C.I.E.N.C.E. and you're still waiting for them to stop and go back to taking that same route, then let your tears flow and say goodbye to Incubus. Honestly, there are songs in the album that suck so much ass. Songs that are cornier and more boring than watching old people fall asleep. But still, like in any Incubus album, there will be always be songs that will make you wonder if Brandon Boyd and Co. had their dicks sucked by the devil for the ability to write really great shit.

Track Listing:

1. "Quicksand" 2:14 - OK, it kinda sucks. You should probably get high first before listening to this song. This me gives me the same vibe as Pink Floyd. Not my type of shit.

2. "A Kiss to Send Us Off" (4:16) - I thought I was listening to Megalomaniac when this song started. It almost has the same intro riff. This song is OK, except when Brandon shouts "A kiss to send us off" repeatedly. It's so annoying.

3. "Dig" (4:17) - Best song in the album. Period.

4. "Anna-Molly" (3:46) - Come on, you've heard this already, haven't you? I'm not writing a review here. I just like to write anything that comes to mind when I have nothing to do. So if you think I'm writing a review, you're a dumb ass.

5. "Love Hurts" 3:57 - What the fuck kind of a title is that? Love Hurts? If the title is not mushy and cliche enough for you, try the lyrics. "Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt." Oh my fucking god. Is that what dating a supermodel does to you? I don't wanna listen to this song while driving for fear that I might fall asleep or for fear that I would decide to drive straight into a wall just to end it all.

6. "Light Grenades" (2:20) - If you fell asleep because of "Love Hurts," then this will definitely wake the shit out of you. I have a feeling that after the recording of this song, Mike and Jose needed to replace their instruments. Enough said.

7. "Earth to Bella Part I" (2:28) - A lot of people didn't like this song. Well those people are bad bad men. The weird, distorted, laser-like sounds. I likey likey.

8. "Oil and Water" (3:49) - This song is just boring that I fail to come up with anything to say about it.

9. "Diamonds and Coal" 3:46 - There are songs that are so simple that when you here one, you kick yourself in the head and think, "why didn't I write that song?" This is like that. The lyrics are so simple yet it turned out really good and infectious. The chorus is still playing in my head right now, actually (in spite of this we're doing just fine, even diamonds start as coal... give us time to shine even diamonds starts as coal...).

10. "Rogues" (3:56) - Once again, God damn this is so infectious! I love it.

11. "Paper Shoes" (4:17) - I thought I was going to hear Eddie Vedder belt out "hey, you've got to hide your love away...." after listening to the intro riff.

12. "Pendulous Threads" (5:35) - Weird sounds are my friends. Thumbs up.

13. "Earth to Bella Part II" (2:58) - I don't get it, why divide the song into two parts when it's practically the same song? The only difference from part 1 is the additional oohs and aahs of Brandon. What a ripoff.

If you're an Incubus fan, you're no stranger to the fact that some of their albums need to grow on you before you can actually say that you like it. For me, I probably need to keep this album on repeat for quite some time. Just like what I did with Morning View. "Light Grenades" is a good description of the album. It's explosive, but it won't blow you away.

Honda CBR1000RR Repsol Replica

2006-11-30T21:29:00.000+08:00

The Honda CBR1000RR Repsol Limited Edition Replica. Same paintjob as the MotoGP Honda Repsol Team's RC211V that was ridden by Dani Pedrosa and 2006 World Champion Nicky "Kentucky Kid" Hayden.

I just really love how this monsters looks. Damn, I get a hard-on everytime I look at this sweet piece of 1000cc machinery. Hell, I'll even sell my girlfriend for one of these. (Just kidding, babe.) No, actually, can I really sell you babe? Because at the price of $11,499 brand new, that's the only way I can afford to buy this bike. (Again, I'm just kidding.) Shit, that's one more reason working here in the Philippines blows. The economy is so bad! Even if you had a job that paid more than minimum wage, you still won't be able to afford this bike. But still, I know it's just a matter of time before I plant my fat ass on this missile. You just wait, and I and this baby will be cruising down your neighborhood at 200 mph. Then wake up. Shit.

Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

2006-11-30T20:01:00.000+08:00

from WebWombat:

Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2000 miles.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.

LTO Fines and Penalties

2006-11-29T17:28:00.000+08:00

If you happen to be in the Philippines, or if you are simply Pinoy who is also a motorist, then you should know about the traffic ordinances here. I compiled a list of every traffic violation and the fines you have to pay if ever you got caught by the LTMO. This is taken from the LTO website.

Violations In Connection With Licenses

[Top]

1
2
3A
3B
3C
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
T16

Driving without a license

Driving with a delinquent, invalid, suspended ineffectual of revoked license

Failure to show or surrender license

Failure to carry driver's license

Failure to sign driver's license

Driving while under the influence of liquor or prohibited drugs

Allowing an unlicensed/improperly licensed person to drive

Fake or counterfeit license

Allowing another person to use his/her license

Using a motor vehicle in the commission of a crime

A student driver operating motor vehicle w/o being accompanied by a licensed driver

Unlicensed conductor

Expired driver's license

750.00
300.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
2000.00
750.00
1500.00
500.00
1500.00
200.00

300.00
375.00

Violations In Connection With Motor Vehicle Registration

[Top]

12A

12B

Unregistered/improperly registered/delinquent or invalid registration
(Driver & Operator Each Pay P450)

Unregistered substitute or replacement engine

Unauthorized change of color or configuration

Certificate of registration and official receipt not carried

Operating/allowing the operation of a motor vehicle with a suspended/revoked certificate of registration

Tourist operating a non-Philippine registered vehicle beyond 90 day period

900.00

500.00

50.00

150.00

450.00

1500.00

Violations In Connection With Plates And Stickers

[Top]

16A
16B
16C
16D
17
18
19
20
21
21B
72
73
T14

Plates not firmly attached and visible

Dirty of uncared for plates

Unconspicuously displayed plates

No sticker

License plate different from body number on for-hire vehicle

Removing permanent plates to accomodate commemorative plates

Expired commemorative plates/stickers

Tampered/marked plate or stickers

Illegal transfer of plates, tags, or stickers

Illegal transfer and use of plates/tags or stickers in the commission of a crime

Illegal use of commemorative plates without proper authority

Without conduction stickers

No sticker showing the correct year

150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
450.00
200.00
200.00
300.00
7500.00
10000.00
5000.00
750.00
150.00

Violations Relative to Motor Vehicle Parts, Accessories, Markings

[Top]

22A

22B

22C

22D

22E

22F

22G

22H

22I

22J

22K

22L

26A

26B

Motor vehicle with metallic wheels

Defective brakes

Improper horn or signalling device (exceptionally loud, startling, or disgreeable)

Defective horn or signalling device

Carrying red lights visible in front of vehicles

No or defective headlights

No or defective taillights

No red rear lights

No license plate lights

No brake (stop) lights

No or defective windshield wipers

No or disconnected muffler

Dirty and unsightly or dilapidated motor vehicle

Failure to paint or improper painting of authorized route (jeepneys)

Non-painting of business name or trade name on vehicle used for business trade

Unauthorized improvised number plates

If plates are made to appear as registered to operate as FOR HIRE

Failure to put "NOT FOR HIRE" sign on jeepney/jitney not operated FOR HIRE

Unlawful use or attachment of siren/bell/horn/whistle/gadget that produces exceptionally loud or startling sound, including domelights, blinkers, and similar signaling/flashing devices

Glaring front or rear body parts and/or sporting dazzling accessories

Operation of vehicles with right-hand steering wheel

150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
375.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
300.00
600.00
500.00
50000.00

Violations Relative to For-Hire Motor Vehicle Parts, Accessories

[Top]

27A

27B

27C

27D

27E

27F

27G

27H

27I

33B

10B

10C

Dirty and unsanitary equipment

Defective Equipment (not roadworthy)

No handbrakes

Defective handbrakes

No or defective speedometer

Defective or broken windshield

No or defective windshield wipers

No rear view mirror

No interior lights

No name or business name and address on vehicle

No spare tire

Unauthorized bell, siren, or exhaust whistle

No red flag or red lights on projecting load

No body number on vehicle

No Early Warning Device

Failure to install EWD 4 meters away to the front and back of stalled vehicle

No capacity markings

Installation of jalousies, curtains, dim lights, strobelights, or similar lights/tinted, colored or painted windshield or window glass

Failure to post signage instructing passengers of public motor vehicles required to wear seat belts to FASTEN SEAT BELTS
[Driver-P300.00] [Operator-P300.00]

For any infraction to retrofit with/install required seatbelt/anchorage/seat orientation as prescribed (1st offense)

(2nd offense)

(3rd offense)

Out of Line - Operating outside its authorized route

150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
375.00
100.00
300.00
150.00
500.00

600.00
1000.00
2000.00
3000.00
500.00

Weights and Load Limits

[Top]

38A

38B

38C

38D

T28

Load extended beyond projected width without permit

Overloading

Operating a vehicle in excess of limits

Total weight of cargo carrying device or passenger truck in excess of 100 kilos

Allowing load in excess of its carrying capacity
[ Conductor-P150 ] [ Driver-P150 ]

Baggage or freight carried on top of truck exceeds 20KGs/SQ M and not distributed properly

Unsafe load

200.00

150.00

300.00

150.00

500.00

Prohibited or Illegal Operation

[Top]

41A

T02

Colorum operation (1st Offense: Driver-P500, Operator-P1000)

Colorum operation (2nd Offense: Driver-P750, Operator-P2000)

Colorum operation (3rd Offense: Driver-P1000, Operator-P3000)

Colorum operation or private use despite suspended CR

Operating truck during truck ban

1500.00

2750.00

4000.00

1000.00

200.00

Breach of Condition of Franchise and Related Violations

[Top]

42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50

Employing insolent, discourteous or arrogant drivers or conductors

Refusal to convey passengers to proper destination (trip cutting)

Refusal to render service to the public [ Driver-P1000 ] [ Operator-P1000 ]

No issuance of fare ticket on bus [ Conductor-P375 ] [ Operator-P375 ]

Unauthorized commercial or business name, allowing another to use his commercial or business name

Undue preference or unjust discrimination [ Driver-P375 ] [ Operator-P375 ]

Overcharging/Undercharging
[ Driver/Conductor-P500 ] [ Operator/Owner-P500 ]

Breach of franchise conditions

No franchise/certificate of public conveyance or evidence of franchise in the motor vehicle

400.00
1000.00
2000.00
750.00
375.00
750.00
1000.00
375.00
375.00

Fraud and Falsities

[Top]

Fake license, identification card, or permit

Fake CR, OR, plates, tags, or stickers, or spurious documents
[ Driver-P1000 ] [ Operator-P2000 ]

Misrepresenting a copy of a document before Traffic Adjudication Service(TAS)

2000.00

3000.00

1000.00

Parking Violations

[Top]

54A1

54A2

54A3

54A4

54A5

54A6

54A7

54A8

Parking within an intersection

Parking on a crosswalk

Parking within 6 meters of the intersection of curb lines

Parking within 4 meters of the driveway entrance to any fire station

Parking within 4 meters of a fire hydrant

Parking in front of a private driveway

Double parking

Parking at any place where official signs are posted prohibited parking

150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00

Other Violations

[Top]

68A

68B

68C

68D

68E

68F

68G

68H

68I

68J

68K

68L

68M

68N

68O

68P

68Q

68R

68S

68T

68U

68V

68W

68X

68Y

68Z

10A

54B

54C

54D

54E

54F

58A

58B

58C

T26

Illegal turn

Driving against traffic

Illegal overtaking

Overtaking at an unsafe distance

Cutting an overtaken vehicle

Failure to give way to an overtaking vehicle

Increasing speed when being overtaken before the overtaking vehicle has completely passed

Overtaking when left side is not visible or clear of incoming traffic

Overtaking on a crest of a grade

Overtaking on a curve

Overtaking at a railwaygrade crossing

Overtaking in an intersection

Overtaking between MEN WORKING or CAUTION signs

Overtaking in a NO OVERTAKING zone

Failure to yield right of way (same time rule)

Failure to yield to the right of way (first at intersection rule)

Failure to yield to pedestrians at a crosswalk

Failure to come to a complete stop on a through street or railroad crossing

Failure to yield to the right of way coming from a private road or driveway

Failure to yield to the right of way of an ambulance, police car, or fire dept vehicle

Failure to come to a complete stop on a through highway or stop intersection

Failure to give proper turn/stop signals

Illegal right turn

Illegal left turn

Failure to stop motor vehicle and apply handbrake when left unattended

Obstruction to traffic

Failure to wear the prescribed seat belt devices and/or failure to require passengers to wear prescribed seatbelt
1st Offense [ Driver-P250.00 ] [ Operator-P250.00 ]

2nd Offense [ Driver-P500.00 ] [ Operator-P500.00 ]

3rd Offense [ Driver-P1000.00 ] [ Operator-P1000.00 ]

Allowing a passenger on top or on the cover of a vehicle

Permitting a passenger to ride on the running board, step board, or mudguard of a vehicle

Arrogance or discourtesy

Disregarding traffic signs

No helmet when driving or riding a motorcycle

Reckless driving (1st offense)

Reckless driving (2nd offense)

Reckless driving (3rd offense)

Failure to dim headlights

Use of slippers or sleeveless shirts when driving a FOR HIRE vehicle

Driving or parking in a place not designed for parking or driving (i.e. sidewalks, alleys, etc.)

Failure to give way to police, fire department vehicles or ambulances

Hitching-permitting any person to hang onto or ride on the outside of a vehicle such as a person on a bicycle/skateboard/roller skates

Smoke Belching (1st Offense)

Smoke Belching (2nd Offense)

Smoke Belching (3rd Offense)

Disregarding traffic officer

150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
500.00
750.00
1000.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
500.00
750.00
1000.00
150.00
100.00
150.00
100.00
100.00
1000.00
3000.00
5000.00
500.00

Taxi Unit Violations

[Top]

59

59

59

60

61
62A
62B
62C
62D
62E
62F
63
64
65
65B
66A
66B
66C
67

Fast, tampered, defective, or no operating taximeters (1st offense)

[ Driver-P2000.00 ] [ Operator-P2500.00 ]

Fast, tampered, defective, or no operating taximeters (2nd offense)

[ Driver-P3000.00 ] [ Operator-P2500.00 ]

Fast, tampered, defective, or no operating taximeters (3rd offense)

[ Driver-P5000.00 ] [ Operator-P2500.00 ]

Tampered, broken, joined, reconnected, fake or altered sealing wire

[ Driver-P1000.00 ] [ Operator-P1000.00 ]

Refusal to render service to the public/convey passenger to destination [ Driver-P1000.00 ] [ Operator-P1000.00 ]

Violation of color scheme. Adoption of new color design w/o authority

Unregistered or unauthorized trade/business name or its unauthorized use

No body number

Old meter, transmission seal or triplex seal

Loose triplex seal

Flagged up taxi meter/Operating on contractual basis

No taxi driver's uniform

No taximeter [ Driver-P1000.00 ] [ Operator-P1000 ]

Installing air-conditioning unit w/o authority

Failure to paint AIRCON on taxi unit

Failure to provide light on taximeter

Failure to provide top light indicating availability

Failure to provide clean seat covers

Failure of owner/operator to paint his name and address on the unit

4500.00

5500.00

7500.00

2000.00

2000.00
375.00
375.00
375.00
375.00
375.00
500.00
100.00
2000.00
750.00
750.00
150.00
150.00
150.00
150.00

It's my birthday. Bring me gifts.

2006-11-29T16:46:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday tomorrow, bitches. November 30. Same birthday as the most awesome Philippine hero ever, Andres Bonifacio. I think I was actually named after him. I'll be expecting presents. So don't forget!